Helping Hands, Happy Hearts

Specializing in Quality Care in Eastern Massachusetts.
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When an Elderly Relative Refuses Care

It may be painfully obvious to a family caregiver that their elderly relative really needs some home care services assistance. However, when the senior insists that they are fine and that the don’t need help, it can create tension between family members. When an elderly relative refuses care, family caregivers may experience worry, frustration, stress and even anger. It is one of the most common situations that family caregivers face as their aging relative experiences increasing impairment.

Home Care Services Newton MA - When an Elderly Relative Refuses Care

Home Care Services Newton MA – When an Elderly Relative Refuses Care

Why Some Seniors Refuse Care

When an elderly loved one refuses help from a home care services assistant, it may help family caregivers to understand why. Much of the time, the aging adult is in denial about how challenging their day to day tasks really are. They may be stubborn and proud, which makes it difficult to admit they might need help. Other seniors are just unaware of how many problems they have, if they don’t realize their home is not very clean or their personal hygiene is lacking.

Many elderly adults don’t want to admit they are struggling because they are afraid their family members will automatically put them in a long-term care facility. They may wish to remain in their own homes for as long as possible and fear that they will lose their independence if they speak up. Family members can assure their elderly loved one that there are many options that enable them to stay home yet get help. The best option is usually home care services assistance.

Strategies to Sway Seniors

Family caregivers that want to convince their elderly relative that in-home care is a good idea need to reassure them over and over again. Implementing some or all of these strategies may help family caregivers sway even the most stubborn seniors to accepting home care services assistance at home.

Communicate. Family members can talk to their elderly loved ones about their quality of life. They can find out if there are areas of home care or personal care that they struggle with. Having frequent, low-pressure conversations can help both sides discuss things rationally.

Ask questions. When seniors can verbalize what part of senior care they aren’t happy about, family members can address that. Many times, the reasons why an elderly person objects to in-home care are not what the family member thinks they are.

Exercise patience. Family members may not get their aging parent to open up or agree to in-home care right away. Listening with empathy and trying to get their side of things will help promote understanding.

Provide several options. Seniors may view the fact that they need help in extremes, from complete independence to a nursing home. Family members can discuss all the different options available to help seniors get a better understanding.

Start small. Some seniors aren’t ready for full-on care and may do better with small steps. For example, family members can arrange for someone to come in and clean only before expanding their duties to include meal prep. Expand the caregiver duties slowly over time for the best outcome.

If an elderly relative’s health and wellness are on the decline, family caregivers need to do everything they can to convince them to accept home care services assistance for their own good.


If you or an aging loved one are considering Home Care Services in Newton MA, or anywhere in Eastern Massachusetts, please call the caring staff at CARE Resolutions – (508) 906-5572.

Erica Tomasello, CEO

Erica Tomasello, has a background in Education and Clinical Psychology. She has worked with her mother for years, developing Care Resolutions into a premiere agency. Erica, and in turn, the agency's staff, continue to expand their knowledge with the ever growing development of understanding the aging process and geriatric disease. We are a member with Home Care Association of America and NFIB. We are also affiliated with NASW, National Association of Professional and Executive Women, Alzheimer's Partnership, Alzheimer's Association of Mass, MA Council for Home Care Aides.